Going back in Time

 


I WISH TO GO BACK IN TIME

I wish to go back in time, but not for the reasons some would. I don't want to change things about my life as I have gotten used to the good and bad parts. But to go back to where I just lived would be great!

Wondering what I am talking about? I am talking about when you got up in the morning ready to face the day and just lived. I long for the days of going to my job as a twenty year old, and even on the bad days appreciating that I had a job. A job that afforded me to get out on my own and live in my own apartment, pay for my own car, have control of everything about my life.

 When I look back, I was pretty young and already taking care of myself and yet I didn't have a care in the world. I didn't stress over anything, and that is the Gods honest truth.

Here I was paying bills, buying groceries, paying rent, car payments, power.....living on my own and I didn't stress, I just lived. That was back in the late 80's. 

What is so different now than then? Well, it might be I didn't watch the news every morning and every evening, but I am married to a farmer who likes to see the weather and the stock market twice a day, sometimes three times a day. We are in 2023, I am well into my fifties, and I wake up already worrying or stressing about what will or will not get done today. What's happening in the world that my Grandchildren are growing up in. How will my kids continue to support their families in the ever changing economy. What will the schools pump into my grandbabies heads when they start school in only a few short years. Why won't my computer work, what's wrong with the TV, why is my phone acting up! Oh Crap, I think I offended someone, who is mad at me today...........Uhhhh, Our world has gone mad, or is it just me?

I just want to live like I did back then! 

I had energy! I could stay up well past midnight visiting Jim, drive home to my apartment, go to bed and get up at 6 a.m. ready to work. And wow!  I worked two jobs, I worked 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. at the Clinic and then headed over to the mall and worked as the Manager of a candy shop from 5 p.m. to 9 p.m.(The owner knew I'd be a few minutes late each day as I rushed from one place to the next)

 I made the night deposit (that should have been stressful driving through Toledo with a candy store's income for the day in zipper bag concealed in a brown paper sack!) 

Then I head to my apartment, getting home after 10, showered, and watched TV, before going to bed and doing it all over again. That was a busy time in my life......but I didn't stress.

Could it be that in those young days I just felt invincible ? Or was it I was naive? 

Seems, even on cloudy days, I still woke up like the sun was shining brighter than ever. 

Man I want that back! I want to empty my head of all the things that have gone in and become trapped over the years. The negativity, the worries, the unneccessary knowledge even. Think of your brain like a computer.  With your computer you can take it in and have a tech guy clear it out of junk, hmmmm, is there such a thing as a doctor that can just hook my brain up to a system, click the "clear Data" button and remove all the unwanted baggage weighing me down? 

I suppose my Christian faith should tell me that God can! And although I pray to him all the time, my mind is still full, heavy, overwhelmed and weighing way too heavy on my spindly little neck.

Hmmm, well it is Christmas time as I write, and New Years is a few weeks away. Perhaps I should ask for a new mindset for 2024 where the sunshines every morning even when there are clouds.

 Ahhh to go back in time, not to be young again, I am fine with this aging, aging brought me years of marriage to a great guy, two beautiful children that expanded our family falling in love and adding two more, and then my sweet Grand-babies, Oh no, I don't want to remove any of that, but man it would be nice to get up and just live. 

Be Blessed,

The Happy Farm Wife

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

  "JUST DO IT" A well known athletic brand has the catch phrase, "JUST DO IT".  They have used that phrase for so many years that most can't hear it without picturing their logo, the Nike Swish.   Last night as I was laying in bed, I kept thinking of this phrase......"JUST DO IT" and as I thought about it I thought about the many times I didn't "Just do it" out of fear of failure, or sometimes just plain old fear of the unknown. I have always had a love for Literature, Poetry, Quotes.  The Library was my favorite place in the world when I was a kid, I loved Library day at school.  The smell of books, ahhhhhhh!  A visit to the Library was always on the calendar each week as I was raising my children.  My Love of Books and written word started way back when I was a small child and I still love them today. I can still remember Book covers (not necessarily all the Titles) of books I checked out from my elementary school Library.  Mrs. Lenberg
Read more

Thinking out Loud

  I am finding a new Table....God is preparing it for me! It is the end of the year once again, time to get things in order. I like organization, but the one place that gets unorganized the most is my office space.  I make little notes of things I wonder about, or Bible verses to look up or to look closer at and at the end of the year I see half started lists of things.  I wonder why I start these things, that appear to be very beneficial, but somewhere along the line I stop making time for them. It is actually funny what I learn about myself and what I must have been thinking at different times throughout the year when I find these little treasures. I found a note that said "I am not broken, I do not need fixed." Another that said, "Stop trying to please people, just keep pleasing God." That last one though, hmmm, we all fall short sometimes don't we. Being human isn't so fun when you think about it. We are not perfect, we make mistakes.  But we also have t
Read more

HMMMMM!

Things that cross my mind. Why do we wish for time to ourselves, but then when we get it, we feel lost? Why do people treat others mean, but then want to follow them on social media? Why do people that never took the time to actually know others, gossip about others? Why does the world make us all feel like we need fixed in some way? Why do we go to college to learn from a person that only knows what they do from reading books? Who wrote the books and where did their knowledge come from? Why do we believe what others say, when everything in life is based on someones opinion? Why do we trust what a doctor says, but question our car mechanic? Aren't they both guessing at diagnosing a problem by looking at symptoms? Who educated the first educator? Why do we have laws that don't support the original laws, the ten commandments? Why do so many Christians judge others when the Bible says there is only one judge? What would the world be like if we all just thought the same of everyone
Read more