The other day, Jim and I were headed off to a farm auction.  It was about a hour and a half away.  I always enjoy going and seeing all the cool old stuff selling, but I also enjoy the drive.

I am guessing that maybe since yesterday was one of the first warm days we have had,  that everyone was cleaning out garages or something.  Or perhaps the children all received new toys from the Bunny since we just celebrated Easter and so were tossing out the old.  Whatever it was, it seemed I saw a lot of driveways with toys at the end of them.

Our son just celebrated his twenty ninth birthday on Good Friday, so possibly that is why these toys struck me as they did, but I couldn't help but think how sad.  I suppose for the children it wasn't sad, because they must have received new toys, but for me it brought back a realization of what those toys sitting out for trash signified.

I once said after becoming a Mom that I felt like from the time of conception we are learning to let go.  We spend nine months in anticipation of the day we deliver, not realizing that is the first of many ways we will be letting go.  They come into the world and every single  day a new "letting go" is happening.  Before long we are cheering them on as they take their first step.  Oh the joy, those first steps  ignite. We don't realize once again, we are letting go.

 If you are a parent, think back to the last time you tied your child's shoes for can't.  You taught them how to do it themselves and one day they just did it and you didn't take note.  When was the last time you combed their hair or brushed their teeth.  When was the last time you tucked them into bed with a bedtime story, the last time you held them while they fought a fever.  When was the last time you pushed them on the swing.  You taught them to pump their little legs and soon you hear "I can do it myself Mommy, don't push me" and you are never permitted to push them on the swing again.  

Ugh......It All happens right before our eyes and yet we do not even see it. 

These families put those toys out at the end of their driveways unaware they just finished a stage of life they won't get back.  These children just gave up these old toys, not realizing a part of their childhood is done, gone.  One day they will think back and perhaps say, "Oh I remember I had that red bike" but they won't remember the last time they rode it or the day it sat at the end of the driveway waiting for the garbage truck.

Letting go, we are always letting go.  Cleaning out, moving what WAS to make room for WHAT IS TO COME. 

I still have quite a few of my kids old toys, especially their favorites up in this old farmhouse. I pull a few out every so often for my Grand babies to play with.  Sometimes I get flashbacks of my children playing while I watch them, but I can't tell you the last time I remember my kids playing with them, because I didn't know it was the LAST TIME.

  My oldest Granddaughter will be three in August, I can't remember the last time I supported her tiny little head, the last time she crawled, the last time I spoon fed her.  She is growing up, she doesn't need me supporting her head anymore, she is running rather than crawling, she feeds herself......Just recently I watched in awe as she put on her own rain boots......Letting hasn't gotten any easier.  The "Last times" are still happening like thieves in the dark, without my realizing they are the "Last times". 

Even as a "Greema" (aka. "Gamma") I realize, I am still letting go. I wish I could say I found the secret to not missing the last times, but as you can see above, I haven't.  My sweet Grand babies, are growing up fast, I am still missing the "last times", I am still wishing I could hold on but for them I will let go,  because I am so excited to see What is to come!  

The Happy Farmwife


Anonymous said…
hloerther said…
I see those toys myself so often! I have stopped and picked some of them up for my grandbabies! You have definitely found your calling within this blog! Thank you!

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